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Divine + Free

honoring me

divine

free

I can finally see

what I need

to sit and breathe

take a reprieve

just believe

allowed to grieve

the life i lost

covered in frost

frozen, not missed

it created this bliss

the space once filled

is now drilled

opened and gutted

painful but fuck it

free at last

clear as glass

once filled and heavy

I wasn’t ready

to see the truth

desired proof

but now I know

i continue to grow

lessons are learned

I am not burned

life unfolds

into pure gold

molding me

encouraged to be

divine + free

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Astrilla~

Illuminate Your Truth

do not look to others to find your path or light your way..

all you must do is simply be, your own light will illuminate the many paths before you..

you get to choose which path you walk, your destiny is of your own creation..

the answers you seek, you will not find through the vessel of another..

all that you seek is all that you are..

so dive within the depths of your being to find the forgotten pieces..

bring them to light so you are whole..

illuminated in your truth

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Astrilla~

Remember~ You Are Free

dearest child

you deserve to rest and

allow yourself to breathe

for in these moments

when you are still

guidance shall be received

you are not made

for constant motion

everything has a phase

so take this time

of sweet surrender

you mustn’t complete the maze

the purpose in living

is not to complete

but just to simply be

dearest child

take a breath

and remember you are free

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Astrilla~

Beloved, You Are Light

b e l o v e d . . .

you are light

pure bright light

of cosmic grace

feel into this

present with bliss

for you are here to lead

your light will shine

so others can find you

link arms with your

sisters + brothers of light

shine together

lifted with love

raising consciousness of the world

your missions are one

as is your light

for you are all

and all is you

beloved, you are light

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Astrilla~

I Bring the Light

Wherever I go.. I bring the light.

That means I’m gonna illuminate things y’all are still hiding.

That means I’m gonna show you a brighter side to life.

That means I’m constantly rising up and I invite you to meet me.

I am the mother fucking sun.

My world revolves around me.

I am Creator; the bringer of Light.

I will not apologize for shining.

I will not dim myself for your comfort.

I will rise and illuminate every day.

I will because I have to.

I will because it is who I am.

Wherever I go.. I bring the light.

Debt Realization

I just did some journaling on debt and discovered and very interesting link.. and I’m called to share it with you.

When I was younger and first started on this life long path of spiritual healing, the first step on my path was going back to a traditional talk therapist.

I had had some experiences with therapy in my childhood and when I was in high school I sought out a therapist for my anxiety and depression. I was placed on anti depressants and saw signs of improvement. Eventually, the problems weren’t as prevalent so I decided to get off the medication, and stop seeing the therapist. After all.. I had been healed… LOL yeah right.

Fast forward a few years to my early twenties and I experienced a breaking point. I had a HUGE trigger, which lead to the realization that there was so much I was still silently suffering from that I had to go back to therapy.

So, again, I sought out a new therapist. The first one I found I had one great session with. Only for him to let me know he was retiring and wouldn’t be able to take me on as a client. UM ANNOYING… so I gave up the search for a little bit longer, eventually stumbling upon somebody who I clicked with and was ready & willing to sign me.

I worked with her for a while.. and began to connect the dots of my past and current (at the time) behaviors, or what I saw as my problems. She truly did help me a lot and while working with her I dove head first into my other healing modalities. She never really got behind my woo-woo antics but she listened to them none-the-less.

So now let’s come back to current time, as I journal out what I’ve been holding inside me emotionally and energetically about debt.. my time with her flashed into my mind’s eye. I came to remember a time when her I were discussing my credit/credit card situations. I mentioned I was carrying a small balance but I made sure it never went over $1K! (And I was very proud of that, I had always maintained a very tactical and practical mind about money.) Looking back now I see I had a clear boundary as to what my energetic maximum for the amount of debt acceptable. Then she said something along the lines of, if not exactly, “Oh that’s not good! The more you do that, the more you’ll owe, then you’ll never be able to pay it off. You have to pay your credit card off completely every month!”

I wasn’t conscious of it at the time, but looking back at it now I realize that made me feel TERRIBLE. She totally rocked my energetic boat and fucked with my maximum! This was not on purpose, of course. But I felt as though I was doing something wrong, and that I wasn’t doing it good enough and I was headed for financial crisis.

I know this wasn’t her intention. I know she was trying to help me as I was learn how the heck to be an adult. But boy, did that sting.

That one remark left such an imprint, that I’m realizing now.. from that moment on my debt has increased and I have yet to pay it off. I let her beliefs about debt influence and fuck with my life!

HOLY CRAP. What a realization.

From that moment on, I looked at my debt as BAD, and a BURDEN I was desperately trying to rid myself from. I became STRESSED, OBSESSED, ANXIOUS and SCARED about my credit card usage. I FOCUSED on what I didn’t want to happen and guess what… it happened!

I’ve been carrying the energy of burden, worry, stress and fear for YEARS around credit card debt.. even to this day. But I am so thankful for this link to be brought to light because…

With this awareness, I am liberated.

It Is Safe To Change

f l u i d . . .

like the waters

allow yourself

to change form

you are not to be boxed

limited or caged

your expression

is to be felt and honored

what you express today

may change tomorrow

you must know that it’s okay

each day you are

birthed anew

changing your form

changing your views

speak your heart

express it all

knowing it’s safe to change

you are not to be boxed

limited or caged

by expressions from moments before

change your form

change your expression

live in fluidity

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Astrilla~