Im blessed to be able to say that I haven’t experienced much loss in my life.
Now of course, I have lost people, places and things; all which had great meaning to me. But I’ve been able to get by by successfully avoiding my emotions about it. Somehow I’ve always found a way to numb out, shove my emotions deep down and keep it moving.
I’m such an emotional being. I’m learning to allow this now.. but for years- I repressed.
I learned to hide my emotions (fear, anger, sadness) during any of my dads bursts of rage because he used it as fuel and turned it against me.
I learned to hide my feeling (sadness and embarrassment) in regards to things that happened to me so others wouldn’t know I was upset.
I learned to shut down the outpouring of tears and sadness when my great grandmother died, when we put my cat down, when we had to give my dog away, when we sold the house I grew up in, when my mom was fighting cancer, and many more times than I can even recall.
The shut down helped me process, push through and keep it moving so I didn’t break down. After all, I couldn’t be another burden to those around me when I was supposed to be the dependable one everyone could count on.
That’s how I viewed my emotions.. as an inconvenience to others, a burden. When actually, my emotions are my connection to my purpose and my gift.
Emotions are a sacred expression. They are divine source energy moving through you. They are an experience in which you travel through to find peace.
My emotions allow me to free myself of the heaviness I’ve carried within.
My emotions allow me to feel and express the waves of existence.
My emotions are a part of my human experience that I no longer wish to shove down and ignore.
So allow yourself to feel the feelings that come up. Feel into the discomfort of loss. Express the energy as it moves through you. If you don’t express it now, it’ll find another way to bubble up and out anyways. Take control of your emotions by simply just letting them flow.