It’s been an interesting time for me. I have accomplished so many goals and taken strides in my mindset. However, these past few weeks I’ve been feeling off. I’ve been thrilled and excited for the steps I’ve been taking but, there’s been an underlying sense of sadness, shame, depression, anger, rage. I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. Why is it coming up? Why now?! Things are great!
After speaking with my coach today, I realized it was all coming from an older version of myself who hasn’t fully healed. She’s still feeling shame for being herself. And my current self is filled with fear of letting her out. I’ve kept her locked up and tucked away. It was “safer” that way. But today I realized, it’s time to let her out. It’s time to heal those old wounds and show her there’s a new way! There is a way to integrate her with me. We can work together, form a partnership and soar! It’s okay to have fun, but we do that in a new way now.
These past few weeks, my patience has been LOW! I have always struggled with being patient, but had it “under control” for a while. Lately, not so much. My impatience with myself was coming out and being taken out on others. Old stories keep coming up and challenging me to re-write them. My shadows, the constant thoughts of not being good enough, are rearing their heads to challenge me to believe I AM GOOD ENOUGH EXACTLY AS I AM.
All of these old emotions, and stories, are coming up to show me where I still need to heal. They’re showing me what I need to work on to get even further down my path. Although these emotions and feelings that are coming up are uncomfortable, I am now choosing to honor them, to learn from them, and to release them. It is no longer acceptable to keep them hidden and ignored. It is time to honor, accept, and unconditionally love all aspects of (past, present and future) me.
These things come up to test us, to see if we can rise above or if we revert back into the old way of life. I choose to rise above; to learn, to grow and to be empowered by my struggles. I release old stories of shame and guilt, knowing I am what I am. I am who I am supposed to be. Everything is happening for me in divine timing. Every moment is divinely constructed for my growth and ascension.
I hope that if you too are struggling, you find peace in knowing it is for a purpose! Ride the wave of life. Enjoy the highs and endure the lows, knowing it will all come full circle again.